He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. – Proverbs 18:22
I am so blessed to have my wife, Hyeyoung (Kelly) Kang.
We got in a huge fight Sunday morning about something very silly – I slept in and didn’t help her with getting the babies ready for church.
Not one of my best moments.
This is proof that satan or my sinful nature wants me to go to hell.
21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:21-24
We were already 20 minutes late for our outdoor service at the Bundang Church of Christ.
I asked my wife what was wrong in the car. I got defensive and angry. I scared the babies. It was just not a good time.
Honestly, I didn’t want to go to church after having this argument. I was planning on dropping my family off and go off somewhere to cool down.
Luckily, Kelly came up with a great idea of dropping off the kids with the brothers and sisters, so we can get the two of us sorted out.
Church was over and everyone was playing games and enjoying the weather by the time we arrived.
My wife and I returned to the car and finished out discussion.
There was a lot of things that both us had not dealt with and the annoyances just piled up.
The conclusion we came to was that we need to have nightly discussions. John Louis from the Singapore Church recommends that married couples spend one hour a night and four hours (date night) one day during the weekend for relational growth and maturity. For a total of eleven hours total per week.
Naturally, we were both failing that and blaming life’s circumstances. I don’t want to blame my babies for the deterioration of our marriage.
My wife graciously offered that I go to a local cafe and spend my time with God daily. I didn’t do this because I wanted to be there for my wife and support the kids. However, that resulted in a lack of time building a relationship with God. Ultimately, putting us in the situation where we were yesterday – bitter, angry, and prideful.
My wife and I want to have a marriage filled with love, grace, and peace.
43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” -Matthew 12:43-45
What I was doing did not work.
I want to clean my brain (house) and replace my demons (bad habits) to good habits (good occupants).
My wife and I made a decision to have nightly walks with the children after dinner. During this walk talk, pray, and teach our kids the habits of praying and exercise.
Thank you for reading. God bless you.
Ultimately, I hope this means more consistent time to reflect, share, and build a relationship with God.
What are some habits that help your marriage/relationship grow?
